#131 - WHATEVER

It's been awhile and I don't know where to begin. I s'pose I should start as close to "on topic" as possible and talk spider, and then meander, circumambulate and deviate as I digress and circumlocute and ramble. I wish not to write of kissing, and I'd rather not repulse you with discussions of my big and hairy. That leaves us with "spider".

Spider

Journal of the BTS 31(2)

The only recent occurrences that lend themselves to spider talk are the just released Volume 31 and Number 2 of the Journal of the British Tarantula Society. Although I proofread and edited the three issues of Volume 30, and unofficially took over with 30(3), it wasn't until 31(1) at the beginning of this year that I was the official Editor. One of my terms of taking over the editorship was that I also would take over the design and layout, but we had overflow from 30(3) and 31(1) came to me partially typeset. It thus had some flavor of my predecessor. With the issue that landed on UK doormats and in their quaint little letterboxes last week before spreading to Europe and beyond, including arrival in my mailbox on Tuesday afternoon, we finally have an issue that is all me. Of course, it is mine only by design, typeset and rewrite. I have the authors Ray Gabriel, Eddy Hijmensen, my dear mates Guy Tansley (article on Costa Rican honeymoon tarantula hunting) and Chad Campbell (centerfold pictorial), my Hungarian friends Maria and the two Laszlos (husband "Laci" and brother "Dudu"), and a closing piece by Sherwood, Longhorn and Kirby to thank for the content. For those of you who are not members please consider joining. Thanks to Brexit the UK pound is low against the dollar and membership is as cheap as it ever will be for Americans. Do it. For those of you who have yet to renew: what the hell are you waiting for? A personal invitation? Consider this it.

My last post had my list of stragglers as I try to finally sell ALL remaining tarantulas. The experience hasn't been great. It has been a reminder of the part of peddling critters all my life that sucked. I enjoyed my charges, and found births and hatchings rewarding. It wasn't all bad, and almost everything related to the creatures themselves was wonderful. That's what kept me going. It's the people that always suck. It has been no different of late. The necessity of logging into Arachnoboards reminded me quickly. As I have bemoaned before, ad nauseum, spider buyers are particularly vexatious. One guy asked for a lower price on what would only be a $150 purchase. It took me a day and a half to get back to him as I had to recall my asking price and had been away a bit for my birthday week. Two days later he said he had spent the money, and was disappointed that he couldn't take advantage of my great offer. Dude, if you don't have a spare $150 you shouldn't be buying fucking bugs. Another asked for a payment plan on a more expensive spider. Where most write brusque, semi-literate inquiries, his was well-worded and polite. I agreed. Never heard from him again. Been there, done that, already have far too many fucking t-shirts. So, we plod on. If any of you want a steal on any spiders I give special blog reader discounts and extra special pick up in person discounts.

That's the end of my spider talk. Perhaps forever. Or not. ;)

You see this blog seems to have come to an end, but I do have arachnid projects in the works that may keep this going. We are at number #131, plus the original 15 of 2008. There were more than 113 posts in 2015; the heyday of Kiss My Big Hairy Spider. This will be the 30th of 2016. Yeah, I know, the numbers don't add up. There were some with part A and part B, etc.

I recently dispatched my The Tarantula Bibliography and the online version of Arachnoculture into the discarded planetary dust of cyberspace. TTB is gone forever, but some day I may compile all seven issues of Arachnoculture into an e-Book. The Tarantula Bibliography had been loads of work over 11 years or so, but I gave little thought to ceasing publishing it. I can't be bothered. I also vaporized my fourth incarnation of the cesspool wasteland that is Faffbook. It was created only for a business page and then obliterated forever thanks to some nonsense related to The British Tarantula Society. I will never log in again, have deactivated again, and Facebook and the biting gnats that live there can Kiss My Big Hairy Spider. Fuck Facebook too; with its ridiculous rules, policies, censorship, content theft and invasive politics.

My ExoticFauna.com now stands as a single web page that honors my past work and leads people to my photography at SmugMug and Instagram. The latter is a better way for me to connect. Although a devotee of the written word, my photos and brief descriptions and hashtags speak volumes about my life and its pursuits.

Do I have any KMBHS posts left in me? Well, my work for the BTS will run at least through this membership year and perhaps beyond. If I stick to the Journal and Newsletter and keep my nose out things like membership, FB, website and such, I may carry on. That is, if I isolate myself from the membership and deal only with the authors and photographers, and I leave the politics of the society and the other swine diarrhea to the Brits, I see no reason to abandon the fine Journal. If there is one thing I have learned of late, it's that I am decidedly American – a stereotype even: alpha male, aggro, type A, impatient, unyielding. The Brits are very British. I have some great friendships within the BTS that I will not endanger. Thus, I choose to distance myself from the running of the organization. I'll keep my opinions to myself. One twat on FB had the nerve to suggest that an American is running the BTS. What a laugh. But I won't tarnish the Brit society with my American personality any longer. I'll do my editorial duty as promised, for at least the two issues of the Journal that remain in this membership year. I make no promises for continued attendance at the Lectures and Exhibition, although the former is likely because 1) my best mates and second family are there in Bristol, 2) Bristol is my lovely home away from whatever passes for home here and 3) it is a great time and the best chance to interact with the upper echelon of the arachnocultural world. The Exhibition is less desirable to me because 1) I don't keep, trade or buy spiders anymore, 2) it is fucking work and who wants to spend thousands to spend the day missing the event and 3) I'd rather just see the larger group of people at the Lectures and have any supplemental UK trips just be about spending time with my Bristolian friends and family or the Hales of Polegate.

So, I suppose I will occasionally post here when I have something to say about my BTS publications or my field trips. I have little left to say about arachnoculture. But who will read a blog that has four posts a year? And who does anyway? I'm averaging less than 40 view for my last handful of posts. This thing may have run its course. Then again, I have more field work than just my annual exotic field trips in me. Soon I may spend a lot of time chasing arachnids and herps in the U.S. That would drive content now wouldn't it?

The truth is that I am, first and foremost, a writer. I love blogging. I have created a second blog for my new business, but that hasn't been enjoyable and I haven't been prolific. The nice thing about KMBHS is that I never gave a fuck about marketing myself. I didn't avoid offending; I went out of my way to provoke, antagonize, and anger. I called a fucktard a fucktard, without pulling my punch or worrying about professional image. I can't do that elsewhere. However, I don't need to incite to write. It's been fun, but I must move on.

To that end, I have created yet another blog. I'm hoping some of my KMBHS readers will end up following it and enjoying my stories. I have begun to write for it, but I am not ready to post and launch. All I'll say is that it will be dedicated to my exotic and domestic travel. @jacobipix on Instagram is a much better way of following my photos, but it will have photos in every post and bring you with me as my journeys continue. More on that to come ...

Chad and I at Indeed Brewing Company, Northeast (Minneapolis)

In closing, I'd like to say that my 52nd birthday has come and gone with little fanfare just as I like it. I had one dinner with my sister, brother-in-law and stepfather two days beforehand, and another dinner with my stepfather alone on the day itself (August 5). The following day I drove up to Minneapolis to see my bud Chad. I picked up the 420mm lens (300 + 1.4x teleconverter) I had bought from him and we chased ospreys and Cooper's Hawk. With beer. After that adventure we had an early pub dinner and then started a Northeast brewpub tour starting with Sociable Cider Werks where his new gal pal works. I had a Stout Apple cider that, tbh, was tough to finish. I'm not a cider guy. We then hit my favorite MN brewery Indeed and met up with his friend Javi. Unfortunately, they had sold out of the Derailed Imperial Double Dangerous Chocolate Nitro Whiskey Queen Milk Stout (D.I.D.D.C.N.W.Q.M.S) that I love so much. We pushed on to Able, back to Indeed and then had a nightcap at Dangerous Man where I capped off the night with a delicious Peanut Butter Porter. I could go for one of those right now ... I had drank my share of whiskey the day before for my birthday and then woke at 5 a.m. to drive the 5 1/2 hours to Minnie so I was exhausted. I was actually surprised I made it to last call – midnight at Dangerous Man. I dropped Chad back off at Sociable to hook up with April and made my way back to my hotel. At daybreak I was on my way home.

Pix from Minnie are, of course, on my Instagram. It's the best social media. Just do it. I also have posted photos I took this morning at Chain O'Lakes State Park. I sleep very bizarre hours and was out of bed at 3 a.m. I could have sat in the dark pulling my pud, but decided to instead grab my camera bag and watched the sunrise over the wetland prairie of northern Illinois.

Day breaks on the wetland prairie at Chain O'Lakes State Park

All the best, MJ

PS: Don't forget my Free Movie offer from KMBHS #128. While you're at my YouTube channel you can watch other vids like my 95-minute instructional film, Tarantulas in the Terrarium.