#113 - ARACHNOHOUSEGUESTS

Today after work my buddy Chad Campbell will drive down from Minneapolis to spend the weekend in my home. Tomorrow morning John Apple, Rob Mitchell and a couple of ladies I've yet to meet will be headed our way and, after spending the afternoon out at Andy's Tat2 Crue, will join us. Hopefully, Jason Newland will join us for drinks & grub tomorrow night.

I've spent many of my years in a one bedroom apartment. I even lived in my SpiderShoppe for awhile after my separation from my eventual ex-wife. Twice when I arrived in Seattle to run Northwest Zoological Supply I lived on an air mattress in an extra office in our building before finding an apartment. I'm easy. My requirements are few and I am currently considering spending the entire year 2017 in a tent. My three-level 1600 sq ft. home is a lot of house for just me and my parrot. I'm fortunate that when arachnomates like those mentioned above stop by, or when by brother-from-another-mother Mark Pennell and his family visit from the UK, I am able to host houseguests in style.

So what do arachnohouseguests do? You guessed it. We eat, drink and talk about spiders. We trade and sell them too. Apple will have a running monologue going on obscure native araneomorphs I expect. He's a force of nature. Chad will likely force shots upon people and suggest playing "My Penis, My Vagina". I'm just guessing, but my dear friends - like me - do have their quirks. Mine is that I am a highly trained armed civilian and firearms instructor. I am launching my new tactical pistol and concealed carry business and think I might set up a little laser shooting course for people to try.

If you're local feel free to email me today or tomorrow and I'll invite you over. You'll either have to go home (preferably not drunk driving) or better still bring a sleeping bag and pillow for crashing on the floor. I think the Inn is about full up as far as beds and sofas go. Spring has come early and the winter was mild, but I think it might still be a bit chilly for me to put up a tent in the backyard. However, if you're willing, I'll erect it. (That last sentence goes for other things as well!)

It's only coincidental that all of these friends are visiting me on the same weekend as NARBC. I won't be attending and there is no ArachnoGathering #3 to be held. I have thought about the fact that this weekend would normally be very busy for me as I hosted my event and peddled spiders. But both are behind me and I'll be the chill guy on my back deck with the Cuban cigar and glass of Jameson Signature Reserve.

This weekend is also our weird little local show. Called the All Animal Expo you won't only see snakes, lizards and spiders; you'll also see pigs, roosters, rabbits, sugar gliders, degus and other madness. The owner of the show is the sharpest knife in the drawer and he continues his defiance, obstinance and ignorance by scheduling his podunk fairgrounds show the same weekend as what I consider the most professional reptile trade show. Apple & Co. tend to flee back home first thing Sunday morning, but I am in need of crickets so perhaps I'll talk Chad into checking it out with me before he heads back home. Our friends Randy Sr. and Randy Jr. of Evil's Arachnids exhibit there and I haven't seen them in some time. That reminds me ... should send Randy a text about my informal Saturday night replacement ArachnoGathering. I hope now that I've called it that nobody expects a lecture. Excuse me while I send a text ...

I don't sleep well. I'm a deep thinker and my mind never wants to rest. When I do manage to put two or three hours of consecutive shut-eye together I tend to have tortuous dreams. I absolutely hate dreaming. It is not relaxing. I wake up agitated, wound up and often with a headache. I drink loads of water and go to bed each night with a fresh liter with Propel packets added so I know I am plenty hydrated. I've tried Melatonin. I accuse it of making the dreams worse. Most of my dreams are intense; like action movies where I am constantly chasing, running and fighting or tormented dramas where I am at odds with family, friends, strangers. I actually started typing on this laptop at 3:30 a.m., which is very typical. I think I finally drifted off at midnight. This means that I nap every afternoon. The best part about naps is they seldom contain dreams; at least ones that I remember or that disturb me. The point of all this is that when I woke in the middle of the night the day before (I'll soon turn 52 and I've already mentioned how much water I drink during the day and night, so that means frequent middle of the night pisses), I started thinking about writing my memoirs. I'm now looking at 44 years of keeping spiders and snakes. I just realized that I created Exotic Fauna 34 years, 2 months ago. I actually think my story could make an interesting self-published e-book, but then another part of me says just put it out for free as part of Kiss My Big Hairy Spider. Perhaps I'll poll this weekends arachnoguests and see what they think.

I'll get back to y'all next week.

#73 - RANDOM MUSINGS

I missed my Sunday, Funday post two days ago. This is supposed to be the weekly random off-topic nonsense. I was busy at work and with some other things. I worked six days last week and am working six this week so today is my only day off. I have spider orders to pack and ship and I have a seat at my company's "Gold Table" at tonight's local NRA banquet starting at five so I am in a bit of a rush.

Still I can't start my morning without playing with spiders over a few cups of java. I just finally rehoused all of my Heteropoda davidbowie (thankfully without incident) and I cupped up the 2nd instar Avicularia diversipes I just hatched. There were 57 in total. Now I will feed them and try to do some more feeding before I start my packing so I can drop off the packages at FedEx on the way to the banquet.

Before starting to type this I posted a new Arachnoboards ad. I still have some clearance items and I've reduced almost all the prices and am still offering 10% off orders of $300+ exclusive of freight charge with free shipping for orders of $500+. There is a surprise on this list as I am offering my five adult female ULTRA RARE Avicularia hirschii AS A GROUP ONLY. I am also considering adding my Pachistopelma. I would love to be the first to breed A. hirschii and add that to my list of USA firsts in the past 12 months (including both species of Pachistopelma and Harpactira pulchripes), which now stands at six I think. However, I have no young to raise for males and my future with the colony looks bleak. I'd rather move them out to someone who might breed them and it would also help me buy the $4000 pistol I currently have my eye on.

Producing six US firsts probably won't even be recognized by the "popularity contests" such as this Reptile Report "Breeder of the Year" thing. Cracks me up how some of the people perennially nominated haven't bred a dad gum thing and others have bred species that everybody and their grandma has bred. Yay, for you and your Psalmopoeus irminia. But this is the way of the hobby ... the people who waste their hours among the Faffbookers and Arachnoboreds get popular and most hobbyists haven't a clue.

I also updated my website listing and corrected a glitch that someone made me aware of. Plus I sent out a wholesale list to try to move out the A. diversipes and I. hirsutum "Recife" I have on hand. I only wholesale to legitimate resellers (licensed businesses) or a few "weekend warriors" I respect and refuse to sell to the newbies, douchenozzles, and USPS illegal shippers.

I also started me day exchanging text messages with Mark Pennell and John Apple. Mark's October 4 arrival is only about 19 days away so time is flying. I still can't believe August has passed and now we're already half way through September. I am excited to have my best mate here again along with other close friends during my October 9 mini-ArachnoGathering at my home. Y'all are still welcome as long as you RSVP and ask for address. It's BYOB, but I'll be supplying the food. If you want to "stock the bar" with a bottle of booze I favor whiskey - Irish or American bourbon - vodka (especially Belvedere, Grey Goose and Ketel One). After my recent overconsumption of tequila - AFTER finishing the lion's share of a bottle of Jameson Black Barrell - I'd rather avoid that devil's spirit!

Mark's tattoo schedule is already fully booked. He wants to have more down time this trip. I will be going to work when he has his tattoos scheduled so that I don't desert On Target completely. I'm working my way up the ladder there and don't want to stay away for too long.

I'm starting to get my Costa Rica trip all planned and I'll be gone and away from the Internet for a glorious 10 days at the beginning of December. When I do have signal I will just be posting some images to my @exoticfauna Instagram account. I hope y'all are following me there and/or on Twitter using same name. As you know, I don't Faffbook any more.

I don't miss FB one bit. For a guy who checked it on his phone or iPad or laptop dozens of times throughout the day it was amazing how "cold turkey" I shunned it and never even thought about it again. I really was fed up with all the idiots and staying away from AB and FB is good for my mental health. I am very intolerant of ignorance and I admit it is a personal flaw. I'm not just intolerant, every little thing tends to annoy me. I'm so OCD and so into proper writing, spelling and grammar that it's like nails on the blackboard just reading some of the atrociously written posts. I've already commented on how much capitalizing species names drives me batty, and now I see another newbie dealer who does scientific names in all lower case, without properly capitalizing the genus. Who the fuck does he think he is? e.e. cummings? You don't get to make stylistic choices with scientific names. There is only one way to write them.

Talking about editing and copy editing leads me to an announcement. This is not public and I am only sharing it with you, my faithful KISS MY BIG HAIRY SPIDER audience. Please keep it among our friendly little group until it is formally announced. I am excited to inform you that I will be taking over as Editor-in-Chief of the BTS Journal. I have already been serving as primary copy editor. That is, I am the first to rewrite submitted articles to correct grammar and make them as concise and clear as possible. All articles need substantial reworking and those translated from another language take even more effort. However, now Peter Kirk is turning the reins over to me completely. As many of you know, I published seven issues of my own magazine, ARACHNOCULTURE, from 2005-2007. Now I will again be guiding a publication, only this time it will be the world's premier arachnocultural and arachnological publication. It is looking like I am taking on quite a project here as not only will I be the Editor-in-Chief, but it is likely that I will also take over the pre-press layout of the magazine in order to stay on top of publication schedule. The BTS Journal will be my primary focus in the arachnid hobby. Any other activities including breeding, lectures, and event hosting will be secondary. This makes it even more unlikely that there will be an ArachnoGathering #3. Sorry. If any of you want to volunteer to come on board with AG and contribute some hard work to making it happen please let me know. If I get several helpers - AND NARBC GIVES ME THE GO AHEAD - it may still happen.

This is another busy week and my blog entries may be limited. If anyone out there wants to do a "guest blog" now is the time to volunteer. m.a.jacobi@icloud.com.

cheers, MJ

#71 - ARACHNOGATHERING #3?

I received an email tonight inquiring about ArachnoGathering. I'm sure it is just one of many that I will receive, especially as March approaches, so I thought I'd address the topic here rather than answer and repeat myself in individual responses many times over the next months.

First, for anyone who isn't familiar with ArachnoGathering, it is an event that I have hosted in conjunction with the March NARBC show in Tinley Park, Illinois. Since my return to Chicagoland 2 1/2 years ago, I was a vendor at the show both in March and October beginning with the October 2013 show. I asked the show's owners/promoters if they would allow me to put on my own educational event for arachnid enthusiasts and they kindly gave me the facility and A/V equipment to do so. The inaugural event was March 2014 and it has been held twice, the second in March 2015. Each featured four lectures, raffles and an opportunity for arachnofreaks to interact. Whether there will be a 3rd annual in March 2016 is the question here ...

It's actually two questions from my perspective: 1. Do I want to do it now and will I want to do it then? 2. Will NARBC allow me to do it? I appreciate that those who attended may be hoping that it happens again in March 2016, but the truth is that I cannot answer whether it will at this time.

Let's look at the first question. Do I want to? Even if I might be inclined today would I still have the desire six months from now? I don't know. I have other arachnid related projects to keep me involved in the hobby. One is my role with the BTS, which is about to increase (that's all I can say now). Another is this blog and my other writings such as the articles I just published in the BTS Journal. I have outlets to keep me involved in arachnoculture without having to host an event. I've started a new career and my time is limited. I am not sure I'll want to expend the energy on ArachnoGathering #3 and I don't know that I'll want to take time away from work to spend the weekend in Tinley Park. That is my honest feeling today and in six months I have a feeling I will be even less motivated to host a hobby event.

As for the second question, NARBC was gracious enough to give me the facility to have ArachnoGathering at no cost. But then I was a vendor. Michael Jacobi's SPIDERSHOPPE is closed. I will maintain a small collection of tarantulas and true spiders (sparassids and some ctenids) for breeding, but my public and retail sales are mostly phased out. Once everything on my current clearance list is gone, I'm gone. Please help me expedite this ;) Just like my interest or desire in hosting another ArachnoGathering, I have a feeling that in six months I will be even less motivated to breed spiders. As I've written in past blogs, 33 years is a long time to do anything and I am done. Burned out. Over it. But back on point, my not vending at NARBC may make them unwilling to continue to support ArachnoGathering even if I was interested. I can tell you that I did send an email today to Russ Gurley, who is responsible for the NARBC lectures, asking if I could trade a public lecture at the weekend's reptile show for continued support of ArachnoGathering. I expect the answer would be yes. In the past when I did a public lecture during the weekend's show I was given a free booth worth about $400 so I think it would be an easy trade. But we return to the first question: Do I want to?

The answer is that I don't know. I have limited time off now and, to be quite honest, I'd rather ask for days off to go to the BTS Lectures again in February or the BTS Exhibition in May. I'm taking 10 days off (unpaid) to go to Costa Rica in December with my stepdad. These are occasions when asking for time off is worth it to me. Asking for time off to host ArachnoGathering doesn't have the same appeal. Tinley Park is an hour and a half from my house and I'd rather not make the trip without sales to pay for my time and expenses. Since I don't really have paid vacation or official time off, I am asking for a favor each time and I'd rather use it for things more important to me than ArachnoGathering. That's the brutally honest truth. Therefore, I'd have to say that the chance of AG #3 is 50/50 at best and, more likely is about 75% not going to happen. I loved putting on the first two and appreciate everyone who came out especially my guest lecturers. I thank NARBC and raffle donors and everyone who helped. But #1 and #2 happened when I was free, self-employed and focused on spiders. Now I am just a retired hobbyist who is more into other things. I will blog, I will write, I will photograph, I will travel. As I hinted at, I will have more work to do for the British Tarantula Society. These projects will all keep me involved and continuing to share my expertise and knowledge. AG probably won't make the cut.

Best regards, MJ

PS - It has just been brought to my attention that the NARBC schedule for October Tinley Park next month erroneously has retained the info about this past March's second ArachnoGathering giving the false impression that there is an event coming up. I just emailed NARBC owner Brian Potter informing him about the error. Sorry if this confused anyone.

The Return

After an initial three consecutive days of rambling, I took a few days off. I lost my Internet access for a day or two and spent the weekend painting the living room and bedroom. I even decorated. I may be nesting.

Bill and Bruce made it back from their Daytona adventure yesterday morning. I tagged along with Bill when he dropped Bruce back off home, about a half hour north of Milwaukee in Cedarburg. It's a beautiful and quaint little town popular with tourists, and Bill and I enjoyed lunch and a coffee. They shared tales from the trip, including being hassled by clueless FL fish & wildlife officers who wanted to bust them for not having a reptile selling permit to sell tarantulas.

I hope to make it down to Daytona next year. Right now I'll look forward to the Chicago [Tinley Park] NARBC show in October and, probably, the December show in Hamm, Germany. Still, reptile shows aren't as enjoyable for me as they once were. Herpetoculture has changed a great deal. There is such an emphasis on mutants. All sorts of selective [in]breeding goes on to produce animals that look nothing like the beautiful creatures favored by natural selection. Everything is a "morph". Some - the "spider" ball python springs to mind - have serious problems, but are still bred for their pattern or color. This phenomenon isn't exactly novel. All sorts of domesticated animals have been manipulated by humans to produce freaks. I'll stick with "wild morphs". At least arachnoculture doesn't have albinos and piebalds and triple het for reverse creamsicle polka-dot.

Until next time... listen to more Pink Floyd, MJ