#113 - ARACHNOHOUSEGUESTS

Today after work my buddy Chad Campbell will drive down from Minneapolis to spend the weekend in my home. Tomorrow morning John Apple, Rob Mitchell and a couple of ladies I've yet to meet will be headed our way and, after spending the afternoon out at Andy's Tat2 Crue, will join us. Hopefully, Jason Newland will join us for drinks & grub tomorrow night.

I've spent many of my years in a one bedroom apartment. I even lived in my SpiderShoppe for awhile after my separation from my eventual ex-wife. Twice when I arrived in Seattle to run Northwest Zoological Supply I lived on an air mattress in an extra office in our building before finding an apartment. I'm easy. My requirements are few and I am currently considering spending the entire year 2017 in a tent. My three-level 1600 sq ft. home is a lot of house for just me and my parrot. I'm fortunate that when arachnomates like those mentioned above stop by, or when by brother-from-another-mother Mark Pennell and his family visit from the UK, I am able to host houseguests in style.

So what do arachnohouseguests do? You guessed it. We eat, drink and talk about spiders. We trade and sell them too. Apple will have a running monologue going on obscure native araneomorphs I expect. He's a force of nature. Chad will likely force shots upon people and suggest playing "My Penis, My Vagina". I'm just guessing, but my dear friends - like me - do have their quirks. Mine is that I am a highly trained armed civilian and firearms instructor. I am launching my new tactical pistol and concealed carry business and think I might set up a little laser shooting course for people to try.

If you're local feel free to email me today or tomorrow and I'll invite you over. You'll either have to go home (preferably not drunk driving) or better still bring a sleeping bag and pillow for crashing on the floor. I think the Inn is about full up as far as beds and sofas go. Spring has come early and the winter was mild, but I think it might still be a bit chilly for me to put up a tent in the backyard. However, if you're willing, I'll erect it. (That last sentence goes for other things as well!)

It's only coincidental that all of these friends are visiting me on the same weekend as NARBC. I won't be attending and there is no ArachnoGathering #3 to be held. I have thought about the fact that this weekend would normally be very busy for me as I hosted my event and peddled spiders. But both are behind me and I'll be the chill guy on my back deck with the Cuban cigar and glass of Jameson Signature Reserve.

This weekend is also our weird little local show. Called the All Animal Expo you won't only see snakes, lizards and spiders; you'll also see pigs, roosters, rabbits, sugar gliders, degus and other madness. The owner of the show is the sharpest knife in the drawer and he continues his defiance, obstinance and ignorance by scheduling his podunk fairgrounds show the same weekend as what I consider the most professional reptile trade show. Apple & Co. tend to flee back home first thing Sunday morning, but I am in need of crickets so perhaps I'll talk Chad into checking it out with me before he heads back home. Our friends Randy Sr. and Randy Jr. of Evil's Arachnids exhibit there and I haven't seen them in some time. That reminds me ... should send Randy a text about my informal Saturday night replacement ArachnoGathering. I hope now that I've called it that nobody expects a lecture. Excuse me while I send a text ...

I don't sleep well. I'm a deep thinker and my mind never wants to rest. When I do manage to put two or three hours of consecutive shut-eye together I tend to have tortuous dreams. I absolutely hate dreaming. It is not relaxing. I wake up agitated, wound up and often with a headache. I drink loads of water and go to bed each night with a fresh liter with Propel packets added so I know I am plenty hydrated. I've tried Melatonin. I accuse it of making the dreams worse. Most of my dreams are intense; like action movies where I am constantly chasing, running and fighting or tormented dramas where I am at odds with family, friends, strangers. I actually started typing on this laptop at 3:30 a.m., which is very typical. I think I finally drifted off at midnight. This means that I nap every afternoon. The best part about naps is they seldom contain dreams; at least ones that I remember or that disturb me. The point of all this is that when I woke in the middle of the night the day before (I'll soon turn 52 and I've already mentioned how much water I drink during the day and night, so that means frequent middle of the night pisses), I started thinking about writing my memoirs. I'm now looking at 44 years of keeping spiders and snakes. I just realized that I created Exotic Fauna 34 years, 2 months ago. I actually think my story could make an interesting self-published e-book, but then another part of me says just put it out for free as part of Kiss My Big Hairy Spider. Perhaps I'll poll this weekends arachnoguests and see what they think.

I'll get back to y'all next week.

#5 - SUNDAY, FUN DAY

One week from today I will be picking up my dear friends the Pennell family at Chicago's Airport after their journey from Bristol on the southwest coast of England to Amsterdam and then a KLM direct flight into Chicago. I can't wait.

Mark always says "Sunday, Fun Day". He works hard operating his Serious Ink Tattoo Studio Tuesday to Saturday and then Sunday is meant for relaxation and a few cold Tiger beers.

For my blog I thought I'd lighten up on my usual blogs on Sundays and have a little more fun, covering other topics and avoiding my rants. One idea I had was to answer questions from my readers. This alone can keep some venom and controversy in the content. I will answer honestly, frankly and bluntly with no-holds-barred, complete gloves off bare knuckle responses. Vale tudo style (anything goes) for those who know fighting. I won't shy away from anything. There is one rule though: If I answer your question and stir up some shit, you must be willing to have your name published as the question's author. Email me at spidershoppe@icloud.com and next Sunday (assuming anyone bothers to submit) I'll answer some questions.

As an incentive for you to submit questions, I am offering a prize for my favorite question (may be the most controversial, may be the most intelligent, may be the most ridiculous - it's subjective). In the last blog I mentioned the incredible downloads available at Andrew Smith's lovetarantulas.com. Yesterday I bought two items from his site. I didn't need them. The first is my one hour documentary of our 2006 Costa Rica field trip. I made the film so I didn't need to buy it! However, in fairness, I wanted to show the same support for the site that I asked of you so I spent the $10 (that's right only $10 to download two fine products for the tarantula enthusiast!). I have the 720p HD version of my "In Search of Costa Rican Tarantulas" in three different file formats. The second item is "Baxter's Bumper Book of Tarantulas". I also didn't need another copy of this. I have early drafts and the final product as I was part of the editorial team. But this is a pioneering work on tarantula keeping and breeding by England's pioneer and a must for every true tarantula enthusiasts library. So, ask my favorite question, and I'll provide you with free copies of both!

As far as Sunday miscellany: 
1. I'm a huge hockey and diehard Chicago Blackhawks fan. Sadly, they lost 4-3 last night and the Stanley Cup Final is now tied at one game each. But a split of two road games is a good thing in hockey and I look forward to the return to the Madhouse on Madison for Game 3.
2. I have loads of spider feeding to do today. Keeping up with my collection is a 7 day a week job. It's a rainy, sleepy Sunday morning and I'm going to head out for some breakfast and then get a Netflix movie or three going while I work on the spiders.
3. My buddy Jason has been in Peru for over six months. He'll return while the Pennell's are here and I know he can't wait to be reunited with the spiders he left in my care. He did sell off much of his collection before he left, but has made some purchase while out of country and has a nice assortment here that I've been growing for him.

Send me your questions for next Sunday. I will reply with brutal honesty and characteristic truth. MJ